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Two Cents

"Now, I'm a forgiving television viewer, but in its current incarnation Jimmy Kimmel Live... is a gloopy mess. Not an interesting, Jackson Pollock-ish mess either. More like the kind of mess created by a sick infant with a leaky diaper."

Melanie McFarland, Seattle Post-Intelligencer.

"We'e not trying to turn the guy gay. We want him to go back to his wife or girlfriend cooler and feeling better about himself. We want him to know it's OK to think about his shoes or get a manicure."

David Collins, co-executive producer of Bravo's new Queer Eye For the Straight Guy,
in which gay men make-over a straight guy, to The Philadelphia Inquirer.

"The celebrity cemetery out back of MSNBC's New Jersey headquarters, where hotshot hosts are buried when their shows die, is about full to the brim: Keith Olbermann, Alan Keyes, Paul Begala, Oliver North, Laura Ingraham, Ashleigh Banfield. ... The next addition is likely to be Phil Donahue. "

Glenn Garvin, The Miami Herald, listing the names of anchors who fled or were fired from the weak-performing cable news net.

"This show is flatter than Lara Flynn Boyle's stomach and has more dead space than Anna Nicole Smith's head."

Jonathan Storm, The Philadelphia Inquirer, on ABC new reality show,
Are You Hot?

"For several years, watching The Simpsons chase Ozzie & Harriet's record for the longest-running sitcom has been like watching the late-career Pete Rose: There's still greatness there, and you get to see a home run now and then, but mostly it's a halo of reflected glory."

Chris Suellentrop,, speculating on the fading brightness of Fox's animated sitcom, The Simpsons, which celebrated its 300th episode last Sunday.

"Americans are so obsessed with the idea of becoming celebrities that they will sacrifice their first born if it will get them a development deal. Fox is only limited by its imagination."

Staurt Fischoff, professor of media psychology, California State University, to The Boston Globe, on Fox's success in the reality show arena.

"I have had the experience, and it is not fun. It is frightening. And anyone who tells you they are not scared when bullets and bombs are headed in your direction and you are unarmed is not being honest with you or him or herself."

NBC News national correspondent Jim Avila to the Chicago Sun-Times on his war-reporting experience. Avila is currently based in Kuwait pending a U.S. war with Iraq.