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What has 14 heads, is 188 NFL-years old and has 17 Super Bowl rings? ESPN's football analyst squad.

The cable net was touting that monster of the gridiron Wednesday as it prepared to pitch TV critics on its new Monday Night Football programming push, which should actually be called Late Sunday, Monday Afternoon and Into the Wee Hours of Tuesday Morning Football, though that would be really tough for Hank Williams Jr. to work into the opening number.

Chris Berman has. gone. all. the. way. to the top spot in the 360 approach to football coverage–though I'm not sure where the top of a circle is, actually. He will host both the Sunday Night Countdown and Monday night pregame shows for what ESPN hopes to make into an even more iconic prime time event/extravaganza/lollapalooza of a a sports spectacuular.

I just hope they find room for a game in there somewhere.