Volume Control

The Color of Parody

“Even on my new wide-screen color TV, what I’m seeing more and more is Green!!! Green this, Green that, direct from the liberal media. Every time I turn around, it’s more hoo-hah about 'Global Warming’ and 'carbon footprints.’ All I know is, my mother tanned my hide when I tracked a carbon footprint on the living room rug … This is a conspiracy, if you ask me. What matters isn’t Green, but Red White and Blue! Thank goodness Fox News Channel won’t ever be off-color.”

Frazier Moore, Associated Press, in an imaginary e-mail from a reader

Green Like a Fox

“We could make a difference just by holding our emissions steady as our businesses continue to grow. But that doesn’t seem to be enough — we want to go all the way to zero.”

Rupert Murdoch, News Corp. chairman, in an address to employees, as reported by The Daily Telegraph (Australia)

Low-Carbon Choppers

“It was just a fun project. We had a good time, and the best part is it’s the first bike that we’ve ever built that runs on E85 ethanol.”

Paul Teutul Jr., star of TLC’s American Chopper, discussing the first “green chopper” built by the Teutuls (Waste News)

Gore-ing the Environment?

“What planet are they on? It’s promoted as the rock concert to save the world. But with stars jetting in from around the globe, fans arriving in gas-guzzling cars, thousands of tons of rubbish, and sound equipment sending the national grid into meltdown, is Live Earth just an orgy of hypocrisy?”

Zoe Brennan, Laura Roberts, The Daily Mail (London)

All-Day Campaign Spot

“Politics: Was what Al Gore called 'the largest global entertainment event in all of human history’ also the largest in-kind political contribution? And where’s the Fairness Doctrine when you need it? Considering that here in the U.S. the Peacock Network’s three-hour Gore infomercial on global warming lost out in the ratings to Cops and America’s Funniest Home Videos, Gore’s claim may be open to question. Live Earth, in fact, may have been America’s funniest home video. Ever. But thanks in large part to the 75 hours of free airtime that NBC gave Gore on its various stations, starting with NBC and including CNBC, Bravo, the Sundance Channel, Universal HD and Telemundo, Gore may now be the 800-pound gorilla this political season.”

Investor’s Business Daily, editorial